Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth. 
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Department of Redundancy Department. 
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Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.
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"I love cabdrivers. I love their unpredictable manners. I love the pictures of their families on the visors. I love the fact that most of them think I'm Martha Stewart." 

--Diane Sawyer 
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"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." 

--President George W. Bush, on his education-reform plans
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"If I have a problem, we change the product." 

--Bill Gates, promoting Windows XP, on where he turns for tech support
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"If God had wanted you to wear earrings, he'd have made you a girl." 

--Gov. Don Siegelman of Alabama, on a local school board policy banning earrings on boys 
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"Someone very strange, with very little promise, has taken charge of the leadership of the great empire that we have as a neighbor." 

--Fidel Castro, in a nationally broadcast speech on President Bush
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"Well, I can wear heels now." 

--Nicole Kidman, 5 foot 10, on life after Tom Cruise
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"I wear [socks and underwear] once and throw them out. Even when I'm home...I wouldn't think of washing them." 

--'N Sync's JC Chasez 
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"I figure if I kill the first one, the word will get out." 

--Charles Barkley, on handling his 12-year-old daughter's future boyfriends.
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"It becomes about 'those greedy rock stars.' But understand, 80 million records later, I don't know what the fuck to do with all the money I have...The real issue, for me, is choice." 

--Metallica drummer and Napster foe Lars Ulrich, on his right to choose what happens to his music 
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You get
muddy, sweaty, tired, mad, covered with crap, and when you're done the
pig loved it anyway.